Spoonful of Lyme

The first time I heard about The Spoon Theory was from my friend Sheri who has a very debilitating condition called Nutcracker Syndrome. I immediately got it. It made perfect sense. I have been borrowing energy from other days for so long I am happy to at least now have a tangible analogy that healthy people can grasp.

I used to be one of those fairly healthy folks who could run with the big dogs for days and rarely have to sit on the porch. Today, I feel like the porch. Some days I have just enough energy to make it downstairs to fix breakfast by 10am. At times, I have finally finished my breakfast right about time to start making lunch. Because everything takes longer. I am wired like the hare, a typical Type-A CEO mindset who has had to learn to rethink the way I do everything. I have become the tortoise. The rapid get-it-all-done-yesterday mentality now resides in a body that just needs rest, and lots of it.

So what is The Spoon Theory anyway? Essentially, those with a chronic illness have to budget their time more efficiently and make more difficult choices about how to spend that time. Imagine being given 12 spoons at the beginning of the day, and each task will cost at least one of them. Just getting out of bed is 1 spoon, and if I didn't sleep well that is another. Two spoons down and I'm not even out of bed yet. I am quite often down 10 spoons before I have even left the house! The other day I was herxing BAD and ran out of all 12 spoons by lunch time. I knew I was spent for the day, nothing was going to get accomplished, and I needed groceries. So for the first time in my life, I ordered them online and had them delivered. For many, that may be the norm or sound like an indulgence. For me...it was a huge step backward and I cried all afternoon because I felt useless. That, in turn, snatched away a spoon from the next day because I would inevitable wake up tired for expending additional energy I didn't have to begin with.

Since you can save up or borrow from another day, I call Sunday my Spoon-Saver Day. The Father of Creation had it right: take a day to rest and regenerate. I use Sunday to restock my weekly supplement divider, plan meals for the week, and just rest. I take a long, indulgent nap every Sunday after church and lunch. Every. Single. Sunday. I plan my spoons for the week, knowing that I will be spending a whole day's worth if I have clients who want to go see property. The Good Lord has so far worked things in my favor so that I wake up with enough energy on the days I have clients. Or, I will shuffle around my day and take the Scarlett O'Hara approach to things like housework. Either way, I have learned to cherish my spoons and allocate them thoughfully and with purpose.

P. S. This blog post cost me 2 spoons!! One from a few days ago when I started it and one of today's spoons to finish it.