I'm a human cat

Lyme's symptoms make you feel like you are crawling out of your skin. Or at least want to. You just can't escape the involuntary twitches, the incessant tinnitus, the anxiety that creeps in when you know you should physically be able to accomplish more than your body is allowing you that day.

I feel like I am a cat at times. I vascilate between wanting to be outside around the General Public when I am at home. Likewise, when I am out and about I pretty much want to be back home miserating in bed. I walk outside to get a few minutes of sunshine and fresh air just to remember an email I need to send.  I'll run back inside and sit back down at my computer and forget what I was getting ready to do. Then I look back out the window and see how pretty it is and think wow, it sure would be nice to get some fresh air and sunshine. So I will mosey back outside and the forgotten email will make a reappearance.

I am grateful that I don't have it worse as I am able to live a mostly normal life. I am not bound to a wheelchair or walker like some sufferers. I am still able to reasonably do my job as well as drive to and from Wilmington for my treatments. I go to church every week no matter how I am feeling, and I manage to tuck in one social activity each week if I am able. The grace of God and a lot of determination still afford me a life worth living.

I started this blog as a way to get out of my own head. To try to bridge the gap between those of us that have and those of you who do not have these symptoms. I daily look for the bright side of things; it is just my nature to do so. Those of you who are non-believers may not get this, but I actually thank God for blessing me with this. It is allowing me time to emotionally heal from past wounds and transgressions. Since I am a bit more vocal than most, it also lets me put a face and description to this set of dastardly symptoms.  Most importantly, it allows me more time to draw closer to Him. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of Jeremiah 29:11, so much so that I really have not asked Him why I have been given this load to carry.

Today has been one of those days where I've dropped and broken things, my hands aching so badly I'm composing a good portion of this via talk-to-text. But the sun is shining, there's a light breeze blowing, and I'm able to walk. I'm going to get out and enjoy it for at least a few minutes! As always, I welcome your comments, questions and advise if you or a loved one are also a human cat...