Long time no twitch

I've not written a post in a while because quite honestly, I have felt pretty well! "Pretty well" is a relative term, as I feel some type of symptom pretty much all the time. It's just a matter of the severity and whether or not I am able to block out whatever it happens to be.

Two weeks ago, I was struck down with vertigo which was a new symptom. It. Was. AWFUL. To not be able to sit, lay down, or walk without getting dizzy and nauseous really put things into perspective. Alfred Hitchcock was a master of camera angles and videography. In the above Bell Tower scene he captures the dizziness and spinning perfectly. I accepted God's grace during those three days as I had to ask one of my friends to drive me to Wilmington for an unplanned treatment. It still amazes me to see how when we are at our lowest and don't want to bother anyone, that is when others really want to step up and help us the most. (Thanks again, Kate!)

This condition keeps you vulnerable and honest. Right about the time you think you are on the upslope of your healing, you wake up in the middle of the night with your hands and feet involuntarily twitching. In the morning, your shoulder joins in on the awkward dance. Hands and feet are chilly and numb, so naturally you misstep on the stairs and trip or drop multiple things just trying to prepare breakfast. There topples over the little medicine cup you've just filled with supplements. Eventually you get frustrated, which makes your ability to concentrate even more difficult. And that is precisely how I awoke today...frustrated, twitching, but oh so humbled. If so inclined, you may read more here.

Well, I have miserated enough for one morning. I am going to choose to focus on what I do have instead of what I don't today. I have the ability to write this post and put it out there to the public, hopefully it may encourage someone else who also suffers from this. I am able to work from home, which is a Godsend when I am having bad days neurologically. All of my basic needs are met for the day, my closing coordinator is working on my files at the office, I am safe and sound with a roof over my head. God has given me my Daily Bread, so I can quit worrying about today as I soak in a detox bath.

Free range eggs with a side of Lyme

When you lift the lid on a dozen farm fresh eggs, it is like opening God's jewelry box. Beautiful Blues, Greens, Tans, Browns, Creams...each hen unique in the color and size of egg that she lays. I love eggs, especially free-range that were gathered just that morning. That was my first job as a kid: running out to the coop at my grandparents' little farm house to collect what our hens spent the early morning hours contributing. I was taught to always leave one in the nest so she would come back.

As I went through my usual morning routine today, the dry cat food cup slipped out of my hand on the counter, scattering 30 or so pieces of kibble. I scooped them into the 3 bowls. Next I opened a can of wet food and dribbled some before it made it to the bowls as the spoon slipped in my hand. I spilled water trying to fill the coffee pot then dropped the dish towel I got out to clean up the whole mess. Naturally, I also knocked over the little medicine cup I'd just filled with my morning supplements. In other words, just another typical morning in the life of someone suffering with Lyme's symptoms.

Back to the eggs. I finally learned to carry the whole carton over to the stove instead of just taking one out of the refrigerator. There is no telling how many eggs I have busted on the floor during that 1-step shuffle over the last year or so. First hurdle over, I put some butter in my granny's cast iron skillet and waited for the perfect sizzle. I really enjoy them Over-Easy, but I have gotten to where I scramble them because it is quicker...and chances are I'll break the yolk anyway these days. I was determined this morning, though.

  

I chose a beautiful light blue egg, probably laid by an Ameraucana (I have intel that this particuar hen at the farm is named Cher). I lightly cracked it on the edge of the pan, my hands were twitching a bit, but again I was determined. It slid perfectly and gently into the butter...so far so good. As I timed it for The Flip, I appreciated the lovely, vivid tangerine-colored yolk that only happens with hens allowed to run free outdoors. I even thanked Cher for her effort. I took my time with the spatula, thought I had it! But no, it slipped in my numbed hand and the yolk broke. Sigh...there's always tomorrow. It doesn't have to be perfect to still taste yummy.

The whole thing got me to thinking about how those of us who suffer from this imbalance are a lot like eggs. Most of us acquired these symptoms by roaming freely outdoors. I probably picked up my infected parasite while hiking. And though we have developed a hard outer shell to protect ourselves from what is going on within our bodies and minds, we are indeed quite fragile. We crack easily if we try to juggle too many tasks at once, so please handle us gently. We feel Scrambled too often, Over-Medium frequently, and long for more Sunny-Side-Up days.  

In this present moment

Life is a series of individual moments that, when viewed collectively, comprise your existence or at least as you know it. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the bigger picture of our lives that we forget just "being" in each individual moment. I had the opportunity to just BE yesterday and it was profound.

I am a Broker with Keller Williams Realty. The second Thursday of every May is known as RED Day, and every Keller Williams office worldwide shuts their doors for that one day to give back to our respective communities. This year, my office chose to do our day of service at Hope Reins of Raleigh. This is a phenomenal organization dedicated to helping children who have been hurt by circumstances beyond their control. Horses are their counselors, particularly horses who have been rescued out of some of the same circumstances as the kids who attend sessions there.

I learned so much yesterday! I learned about how horses are much like humans yet also elevated over us. They are like us is that they live in communities where there are leaders, followers, and nurturers. They are far superior to us however in that they have mastered the art of just being in the moment. They don't have an agenda and if they are hanging out near you then you are accepted as part of their community. You don't have to touch them or them touch you in order to be validated.

We did an exercise where we slowly walked around and gradually integrated into where they were standing. They acknowledged our presence when we were six to eight feet away from them. We humans are so overly distracted that we do not see others or sense impending danger until things are right up on top of us in our personal space. Though horses are rather large in stature they are still considered prey animals. Because of this they are Super Hyper aware of their surroundings at all times yet they give no judgment to each singular event. They just exist for that moment at that time and it is a beautiful thing to be a part of.

That exercise took me back to a moment in 2008 when I was on an adventure tour in Costa Rica.  In order to reach the section of the river where we were going whitewater tubing, we had to ride up the mountain on horseback. I was given a very spirited gelding who had a mind of his own. He kept deviating off course and just would not follow the rest of the pack. We had to cross over a stretch of rapids that I could see was about chest-high on some of the smaller horses. I almost drowned as a kid so I have a great respect for and sometimes fear of water. I was a bit scared so I had a very tight grip with my knees and on the reins of my equine guide. As we approached the rapids he kept trying to go his own way. The more I tugged on the reins the more cantankerous he became. Finally he just stopped, swung his head around and made eye contact with me. I felt the majesty of the animal and the peace of God in that moment. I lightened my grip on the reins as well as with my knees and allowed him to do his thing. He bypassed the group in the deepest part of the river, trotted on up in front, and finished leading the pack up to where we were going. Talk about just letting go and living in the moment...

Lyme's is as much a mental dis-ease as it is a physical one. It can be exhausting. When we first started looking at venues this year, I had not yet started my treatment. I had multiple symptoms of Lyme's but I had yet to really dive in and figure out what was going on. As the planning and my treatments both progressed, I often agonized over whether or not I would be able to even participate when RED Day finally rolled around. It is my absolute favorite work day of each year, so thoughts of not being able to attend an event I put so much into planning were wearing me down deeper. I finally decided to just have faith that I would be healed enough to contribute. I'm happy to say that though I didn't get to dig in the dirt or do anything physically labor-intensive yesterday, I was able to help paint the fencing for the community garden and pull some weeds in a flower bed. That singular moment of making a positive choice changed an entire day for me and will bless many kids in the future. Each moment matters, don't let them pass you by while worrying about the next one!

Clean water, clean system

I had clients in from Michigan today. As we were building rapport, they noticed that the water in my bottle was blue green in color. They said something along the lines of that is some interesting-looking water considering they have relatives not too terribly far from Flint!

I told them that I thought that water was God's greatest resource for us here on Earth. They agreed and said that it was very sad that unfortunately not everyone sees it that way. Then they went on to tell me how for years the tap water up in Flint has been brown, murky, stinky out of the tap and just not drinkable or usable for bathing. Deplorable really considering the wealth and resources our country has at its disposal.

I told them that I am battling multiple symptoms from Lyme's disease so I am drinking the purest and cleanest water I can possibly ingest to detox my system. My water is blue green in color because I am using Liquid Chlorophyll  to alkalize my system and purify my blood. My trace minerals are off because my system has just become so depleted over the last several years. In order to remineralize, I also drink a sole solution of Himalayan salt and filtered water. I added a good splash to my chlorophyll water today.

Most importantly is the purity and quality of the water itself. About a month ago I invested in a Berkey gravity water filter. I honestly cannot say enough good things about this system! Since it is not mechanical in nature, it will provide pure, clean water no matter what. If for any reason the municipal water supply is cut off, it will even filter pond or river water to 99.99% purity. I added flouride filters to mine as I think flouride is poison...shhh, don't tell the FDA....

This is Big Berkey!

Since I like to hike, I also have bought a really good portable filter to carry with me in the event I run out of the water I bring with me. Dehydration is deadly and often not discovered until you are in danger. You can live up to 3 weeks without food... but only three days without water. Not that I plan or intend to be so far away from civilization or get so lost I cannot find clean water for 3 days... however this Sawyer mini filter is very compact and filters up to 10,000 gallons of water! ( naturally I bought one in pink) They have even been used in Third World Countries. Not sure if either of these have been tried in Flint, and I am making no claim either way. I am just a consumer trying to help others.

Whether you are healing from a dis-ease or healthy as a proverbial horse, the more pure your water the easier your system (body) can operate. Without having to filter out the flouride in municipal water, heavy metals or bacteria present in well water, or the man-made chemicals seeping into both from our ground water your body is more readily able to absorb the water you take in as well as detox naturally.

If you have any questions about my healing regimen or would like to order any of the Liquid Chlorophyll I mentioned above let me know! If you are also battling Lyme's symptoms I would love to hear from you.

I'm a human cat

Lyme's symptoms make you feel like you are crawling out of your skin. Or at least want to. You just can't escape the involuntary twitches, the incessant tinnitus, the anxiety that creeps in when you know you should physically be able to accomplish more than your body is allowing you that day.

I feel like I am a cat at times. I vascilate between wanting to be outside around the General Public when I am at home. Likewise, when I am out and about I pretty much want to be back home miserating in bed. I walk outside to get a few minutes of sunshine and fresh air just to remember an email I need to send.  I'll run back inside and sit back down at my computer and forget what I was getting ready to do. Then I look back out the window and see how pretty it is and think wow, it sure would be nice to get some fresh air and sunshine. So I will mosey back outside and the forgotten email will make a reappearance.

I am grateful that I don't have it worse as I am able to live a mostly normal life. I am not bound to a wheelchair or walker like some sufferers. I am still able to reasonably do my job as well as drive to and from Wilmington for my treatments. I go to church every week no matter how I am feeling, and I manage to tuck in one social activity each week if I am able. The grace of God and a lot of determination still afford me a life worth living.

I started this blog as a way to get out of my own head. To try to bridge the gap between those of us that have and those of you who do not have these symptoms. I daily look for the bright side of things; it is just my nature to do so. Those of you who are non-believers may not get this, but I actually thank God for blessing me with this. It is allowing me time to emotionally heal from past wounds and transgressions. Since I am a bit more vocal than most, it also lets me put a face and description to this set of dastardly symptoms.  Most importantly, it allows me more time to draw closer to Him. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of Jeremiah 29:11, so much so that I really have not asked Him why I have been given this load to carry.

Today has been one of those days where I've dropped and broken things, my hands aching so badly I'm composing a good portion of this via talk-to-text. But the sun is shining, there's a light breeze blowing, and I'm able to walk. I'm going to get out and enjoy it for at least a few minutes! As always, I welcome your comments, questions and advise if you or a loved one are also a human cat...

There are no coincidences....

I put this little blog together last night while I had my feet in the detox bath. Yesterday was a bad symptom day and I felt miserable so I figured why not do something that may be of benefit to someone else? The combination did the trick as I am feeling a bit better today.

We take our physical health for granted and emotionally still feel like we ought to be able to do the things we were capable of when we were 18. I'm not going to lie, this has knocked me on my booty. There have been days this past winter when I was showing property that my hands ached so badly I could barely turn the dial on the lock box. But I did it anyway, because that's what you do when you are a professional and your clients are counting on you. In many ways, my physical discomfort has made me much tougher emotionally and spiritually. And that is what gets me through the times of physical distress.

I don't believe in coincidences. I remember a couple of years ago I ran into a seller on the way out of her home when I was on the way in to show it. She was using a walker, she was about my age, and she looked at me and said that she had Lyme's disease. Looking back, I have said many prayers for that lady, prayers for her healing and for the emotional battle the physical ailments are causing her.

I don't know where this blog is going or where my Lyme's journey will take me, but I have faith and believe in my heart that somehow God will bring this around for good...if it's not but just to show a different approach to healing. Or maybe inspire someone else to get out of bed that day and go to work even when they're aching all over. Perhaps it will be to bring awareness to this condition as there are people who suffer with this silently without even knowing they have it. Then there are those who have been told that this is all in their head or they have been misdiagnosed and given medications that they don't need.

Regardless, thank you for taking the time to read this. If you or one of your loved ones also suffers from this condition, I would love to hear from you!

Holistic approach to life...and Lyme

I have a confession to make: I've been holding out on you. In this age of social media where everyone knows you had a green smoothie for breakfast, are planning a week in Maui for vacation, attend church regularly, and purple is your favorite color...I've not publicly discussed something major going on in my life. Part of the reason is I'm still wrapping my mind around it and dealing with the long term implications.

I am being treated for Lyme's Disease. Notice I didn't say "I have Lyme's Disease." When you claim a dis-ease it then owns you and you become grouped in a category. Instead, my Naturopathic Doctor and I are calling it what it is: I am being treated for a systemic imbalance that causes symptoms of Lyme's Disease. 

Of all places, I was led to a Lyme's Disease test on Facebook. I truly believe God led me there as I was searching for answers for my declining health and prayed for guidance and discernment. So I took a test and was astounded by the results. Here is the Cliff's Notes list of symptoms, each of which sneaked up on me over time and overlapped each other, or disguised themselves as something else.

Migraines. Joint pain. Stiff neck. TMJ. Tinnitus. Short term memory lapses. Light sensitivity. Muscle spasms. Muscle pain. Anxiety/panic attacks. Gluten intolerance. Teeth pain. Heart palpitations. Extreme fatigue. Insomnia. Hair loss. Hearing loss. Dropping things. Tingling/numbness in hands and feet. Brain fog. Forgetfulness. Disorientation. 

That is only 1/4 of the list, by the way, and the worst of my biggest offenders. Some symptoms are moderate to severe, some only occasional. All of them add up to a big ol' hot mess of a miserable human being. I finally realized those are NOT part of the normal aging process, not by a long shot. That's what sent me searching for answers in the first place.

When I first started researching, I knew that I was going to take a holistic, whole-body approach. It's what makes sense to me. I've never been a big fan of pumping your body full of chemicals to mask a symptom instead of uncovering and treating the underlying root cause. I prayed for guidance in this area as well, this is the route I'm taking.

I have been going to Wilmington once a week for the last 2 months to receive Quantum Biofeedback. I am taking a double-handful of herbal supplements, probiotics, homeopathics, anti-viral amino acids, minerals, vitamins, and overall cellular detox herbs 3 times a day. I have purchased a Far Infrared Sauna tent that I sit in 1-3 times a week. I use an ionic detox foot bath 2-3 times a week. I do a detox soak in the bath tub 2-3 times a week. This is in addition to my weekly chiropractic adjustment and monthly massage with Craniosacral Therapy. 

What I'm saying is it is taking a lot of willpower, time, focus...and prayer...as I detox from the critters that have invaded my central nervous system and vital organs. It ain't fun, y'all, not by a long shot. But I knew I couldn't keep watching my health decline. I have had a few of these symptoms for a decade, they're not going to just disappear overnight absent a miracle. So, I am committed to doing whatever it takes for the next 6 months to 2 years or however long it takes. 

I will post updates regularly, take pics of my little sauna tent, show you the NASTY detox water from the foot bath (it's disgusting), and answer any questions you may have. If anyone else is also on the road to healing, I would welcome any comments or suggestions from you!