Forrest Gump and Lyme

Someone asked me the other day how I was feeling. I responded that Lyme's is like Forrest Gump's mama's "box of chocolates."

You really have no idea what you are going to get when you wake up in the morning. That particular day I had tossed aside my 3 days of a migraine with vertigo and instead took a huge bite out of stabbing nerve pain with extreme exhaustion. I actually worked that day, and what I mean by "worked" is I woke up at 8am but answered emails and text messages in bed from my phone until 10am. Stumbled downstairs and wrote up an offer on my tablet in between making coffee and putting together a high-fat, amino acid loaded smoothie. It was noon by then and I had to show property at 4pm.

Four. Dern. Hours. Ugh....what to do. Most people would think that is beyond ample time. To someone with a chronic condition, that means half the day has already ticked down and you are still unshowered and in your pajamas. Dragged myself upstairs, knowing I had 2 choices for inflammation reduction and increased energy: 45 minutes in my sauna followed by a lukewarm shower and a short nap, or a 30 minute epsom salt soak followed by a longer nap. I elected the soak-nap combo as both options involved bathing but I needed the longer nap. Magnesium wipes you out in such doses.

Woke up relatively refreshed at 2pm. Ok. Must grab lunch, get ready, answer calls and emails, and leave half an hour to get to my appointment on time. In the meantime, during my nap, my clients had added on another property they wanted to see. Executive decision was made to throw my hair up in a ponytail to cut out a few minutes and choose an outfit I may have worn the day before but don't really remember because it was a Migraine Day, but felt it would be OK since I didn't see these clients yesterday.

Arrived on time, plastered a smile on my face because who wants a whiney Realtor? I sat or stood around a bit more than normal. Didn't have the energy to climb stairs at each house we viewed. Still painful. Still tired. But I did the job my clients hired me to do. Canceled plans for a girl's night dinner with a fellow ginger. Because who wants to hang out with a whiney ginger? Finally got home after what felt like a Gilgameshian trek (in reality was only 2 hours), warmed up leftovers (who knows how long they had been in the fridge) went to bed at 9pm.

Woke up today with the hand tremor-numb feet bon bon but it somehow tastes sweeter than the migraine-infused vertigo wrapped in inflammed nerve exhaustion. Infinitely preferred to the brain-fog slow-to-no recall nougat that just gets stuck in your teeth. And that's all I gotta say about that!

Spiders and Disney

I haven't posted in a while, either from feeling decent and being busy with work and family while I had the energy...or feeling miserable and not wanting to take on one more thing. Even the simplest of tasks can become an Everest when your brain is misfiring and your hands hurt.

I was able to go to Disney with my nephews and mostly enjoy myself! It was HOT in Orlando and I was beyond relieved that it didn't cause another Herx reaction. Temperature extremes on either end bring them on. And though I didn't ride all the bigger rides (vertigo) and had to take moments away from my family and the mass of humanity at the parks (nervous system overload), I really held up fairly well! The only bad day I had was on our return drive back home, and oh my it was AWFUL. I had a massage the day before and it caused me to Herx, ugh...

Who doesn't feel like a kid at Disney?

I detest washing my hair. Not that I dislike clean hair or want to bring back Grunge, as I actually enjoy having my hair did. It is the process of washing my hair that puts me in a tailspin every single time. Let me explain via a good ol' 80's tune by Rockwell: "I always feel like spiders are touching meeee!" My nervous system is shot so I feel creepy crawlies that don't exist as well as phantom itches beneath my skin that I can't locate to scratch for relief. The shower exacerbates the creepy crawlies. It is hard to regulate too hot versus too cold, I feel each drop of water individually, and not having the water hit everywhere simultaneously confuses my central nervous system. So I take A LOT of tub baths. What happens when you shampoo your hair? You lose on average about 100 hairs. I have hair down to my mid-back. As those 100 hairs fall they feel like spiders traipsing down the backs of my legs on their way to the drain. "When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair. I might open my eyes and find an Orb Weaver there!"

I will end this post on a positive note. At Keller Williams Realty, we have a capping commission structure. What this means is that after we agents have paid out a certain amount of money in company dollar, we get to keep 100% of our commission until our year resets.  I usually cap in about 4 months, which means I get to enjoy 8 glorious months of banking every penny I earn. I have had such a hard time with my health the last 2 years, I really didn't think I would cap this last year. My anniversary date is June 1, and it took me until the middle of May but I DID IT! I capped before my reset date and was able to enjoy 100% of 2 closing commissions and 1 referral check. I thank the Good Lord for bringing me the right opportunities at the right times, strength to get through my darker days, and the 2 assistants who helped me manage my files as I certainly didn't have the energy or health to do it all on my own.

If you or anyone you know thinks they may have Lyme's but are unsure of where to turn for answers, I would love to hear from you! Not that I have all the answers because I don't, but I sure have learned a few pitfalls to avoid on the road to reclaiming my health. Would love to help!

Spoonful of Lyme

The first time I heard about The Spoon Theory was from my friend Sheri who has a very debilitating condition called Nutcracker Syndrome. I immediately got it. It made perfect sense. I have been borrowing energy from other days for so long I am happy to at least now have a tangible analogy that healthy people can grasp.

I used to be one of those fairly healthy folks who could run with the big dogs for days and rarely have to sit on the porch. Today, I feel like the porch. Some days I have just enough energy to make it downstairs to fix breakfast by 10am. At times, I have finally finished my breakfast right about time to start making lunch. Because everything takes longer. I am wired like the hare, a typical Type-A CEO mindset who has had to learn to rethink the way I do everything. I have become the tortoise. The rapid get-it-all-done-yesterday mentality now resides in a body that just needs rest, and lots of it.

So what is The Spoon Theory anyway? Essentially, those with a chronic illness have to budget their time more efficiently and make more difficult choices about how to spend that time. Imagine being given 12 spoons at the beginning of the day, and each task will cost at least one of them. Just getting out of bed is 1 spoon, and if I didn't sleep well that is another. Two spoons down and I'm not even out of bed yet. I am quite often down 10 spoons before I have even left the house! The other day I was herxing BAD and ran out of all 12 spoons by lunch time. I knew I was spent for the day, nothing was going to get accomplished, and I needed groceries. So for the first time in my life, I ordered them online and had them delivered. For many, that may be the norm or sound like an indulgence. For me...it was a huge step backward and I cried all afternoon because I felt useless. That, in turn, snatched away a spoon from the next day because I would inevitable wake up tired for expending additional energy I didn't have to begin with.

Since you can save up or borrow from another day, I call Sunday my Spoon-Saver Day. The Father of Creation had it right: take a day to rest and regenerate. I use Sunday to restock my weekly supplement divider, plan meals for the week, and just rest. I take a long, indulgent nap every Sunday after church and lunch. Every. Single. Sunday. I plan my spoons for the week, knowing that I will be spending a whole day's worth if I have clients who want to go see property. The Good Lord has so far worked things in my favor so that I wake up with enough energy on the days I have clients. Or, I will shuffle around my day and take the Scarlett O'Hara approach to things like housework. Either way, I have learned to cherish my spoons and allocate them thoughfully and with purpose.

P. S. This blog post cost me 2 spoons!! One from a few days ago when I started it and one of today's spoons to finish it.

Killing Bartonella

Sounds like a bad Lifetime movie about the systematic stalking and ultimate demise of a college co-ed. In some ways that is exactly what I am doing: methodically pursuing a stealthy critter with a fancy family name in order to eradicate it from my cells. Minus Tori Spelling in the starring role, naturally. I could probably draw a parallel to the level of irritation both present to the general public but I digress...

Bartonella is a bacteria that frequently presents its perfectly laquered nails as a co-infection of Lyme's. Picture it as the catty sorority sister who stirs the pot at breakfast then retreats to her perch to observe the conflict. Always there lurking around corners and snickering from the top of the stairs during a mixer. Right about the time things have settled down in the house *BAM*....Bartonella strolls in and drops an additional juicy tidbit.

Bartonella has a sordid family history with many branches to its lineage. It can be transmitted by not only ticks, but also fleas, mosquitoes, spiders, many a creepy crawling insect of which we have in droves in the state of NC. It also can be transmitted by our loving furbabies, believe it or not! One root of its family tree causes Cat Scratch Fever, and no...Ted Nugent is NOT the co-ed stalker in this film.

Behold my poisons of choice!

                                               

I currently dose both Bartonella and her pesky sister Burgdorfi (Lyme's spirochete) 3 times a day with teasel root. It is an incredibly powerful herbal remedy that will flat knock you on your yoga booty if you accidentally take even one drop over your recommended dose. It's crazy! When I picked up a bottle in a local store the seal at the top was busted, and about 10 drops spilled onto my hand. I immediately herxed and was miserable for a few days.

Next comes one of my favorites which is known for its anti-viral, anti-microbial, and oxidative properites....colloidal siver. This is the shiny lavalier around the neck of both co-eds and is in my opinion a holistic remedy everyone needs daily. I even bought a 5% eye and ear solution that is helping clear my chronic eye inflammation and the tone of my tinnitus is changing in just one week. Not sure if the tinnitus clearing is from the solution or my updated oral supplement protocol, but my ears are definitely itching less internally. As far as the oral colloidal silver solution, I really like this one from Nature's Sunshine.

The Catucky Derby...Bogey, Simba, St. James (L to R)

Lastly, I have added in Una de gato, also known as cat's claw. Can you think of a more aptly named method to stalk and destroy such a catty co-ed? This is also a very powerful healing herb, and the recommended supplemental dose is only 1 a day. I am testing for 4 a day yet I have to build up to that dose over a 30-day period. How about that...cat's claw to shred the bacteria that causes cat scratch fever. God does have a sense of humor in the midst of all this lurking and gossiping in my central nervous system. Fortunately, I don't have the cat scratch fever Bartonella strain. The uña de gato I take is also a Nature's Sunshine product as is about 90% of all of my supplements.

Now that you know the back story and are familiar with the plot twists...can you blame me for Killing Bartonella?

My talons are out, and as the adage goes...mess with the kitty, get the claws!

One-Year Lyme's Anniversary

Most anniversaries are happy occasions, they mark the passage of what are hopefully joyful times. Today is the one-year anniversary of my Lyme's self-diagnosis. Wish I could say I am filled with joy about it, yet in some way I am because a year ago today my life changed. I found answers that had eluded me for decades.

I have talked about it on here before, of how the good Lord literally led me to take a Lyme's assessment I saw on Facebook. At first I poo-pooed it like many of you probably have or will. Then suddenly the brain fog I had been living with for years was lifted and replaced by hope! I wasn't losing my ever-loving mind, and I wasn't aging quicker than I should be. I discovered I do have a debilitating condition...yet it is also a treatable one! If you are interested in taking it or even curious about the symptoms, it is worth the time invested. Click the link and scroll down to download the assessment. A detailed list of symptoms is also below:

By now some of you are yanking on the anchor, wanting to stop this ship in mid-sail. What do I mean..."self-diagnosis?" After I took this positively conclusive assessment I immediately started looking for a local Lyme-literate doctor. Everything I was reading prepared me that a typical, allopathic doctor will not treat for the dis-ease. I go to a naturopath anyway, so it was my instinct to head that direction. I found a clinic in Chapel Hill that looked promising! This is how my conversation went with the overly enthusiastic office manager:

Him: She is THE BEST Lyme's doctor in the country, patients just flock here!

Me: Great! So how does she diagnose? Does she do blood tests or what?

Him: No, blood tests are inconclusive at the chronic stage so she will diagnose based on symptoms. But she still draws blood anyway. You'll LOVE her!

Me: I had read that about the blood tests, and I have already done an extensive questionnaire. So, what does it cost and how long can I expect to be there for my first appointment?

Him: She charges $375/hour and you will be here around 3 hours. That price does not include your bloodwork. We have an opening 6 weeks from now, aren't you excited?

Me: Hmm. So, let me get this straight. I am to suffer for 6 more weeks without relief or answers. Then, I will be paying over a thousand bucks to get blood drawn for unnecessary labwork as well as fill out a detailed assessment I have already done myself for free? 

(CRICKETS)

Him: But she's so good!

I hung up with Mr. Jolly and immediately called my naturopath, sent her my assessment results, booked an appointment to see her the following week. She made calls to doctors in her network and sent me a few things to do to get me by before my appointment. I ordered my infrared sauna and ionic detox footbath from Amazon, had them the next day.

Today at the one-year mark I took the assessment again, and there have been many improvements! My hair is no longer falling out, my daily migraine is now weekly, brain fog has diminished, memory is improving, fewer muscle twitches, night sweats are reduced, not as dizzy upon standing. Energy level is greatly improved. Many other changes and improvements yet I still have quite a ways to go for a complete reversal of symptoms. At least I am starting to have more good days than bad!

Lyme's is a whole-body condition that can affect every system and every organ of your body, that is precisely why it is notoriously mis-diagnosed and under-diagnosed. I helped one of my college friends self-diagnose this week after many years of her doctors not listening to her. It is a tricky condition, certainly frustrating at best and debilitating at worst. But it is one that IS treatable and I am determined to be a success story on the other end of my diagnosis. And with that, I am off to kill some spirochetes in my sauna ;-)

What in the world is quantum biofeedback?

Dr. Kim and I have changed up my treatment protocol a bit...and it seems to be working! My body has fought and is winning the battle of eradicating viruses and bacterial infestations I have had for years. We are now able to specifically target the Lyme's spirochete and I feel like a superhero giving the smack-down to my personal Kryptonite some days. I have gone from weekly biofeedback sessions to now only needing one a month. You may think that a weekly anything isn't that big of a deal, and it isn't until you add in the 2 hour drive to Wilmington from Raleigh, another 2 hours sitting in a chair, then an additional 2 hour return to Raleigh. Yeah. Weekly visits even with someone as wonderful as Dr. Kim was getting OLD as Methuselah.

Since most of you are probably not familiar with the main treatment protocol I have chosen, I thought I would give you just a little bit of information about it. Essentially, Quantum Biofeedback is a machine based on quantum physics and it works with your body's biorhythms at the cellular and energetic level. It is pretty much hitting a full system reset button every time you do one of these sessions.

I am connected to a computer by 5 bands from 90 minutes to 2 hours each session. I admit, when I first started seeing Kim for this therapy for migraines several years ago I was a bit skeptical. Actually, so skeptical and enough of a brat that I had to try it out just to debunk the therapy. I initially purposely withheld things that were going on with my body and my bodily systems just to see if they were picked up on the software. To my amazement, many minute things showed up on the test Matrix...even a Cheezits binge several days prior to one session. (I know, right?) I quickly quit doubting the technology and now I gladly submit to this slightly esoteric therapy.

I have been asked if I feel anything during one of my sessions. I am one of those humans who is very attuned to what is going on within my system. I can usually tell what area Kim is working on, whether it be my gums, my central nervous system, my back, even my liver or gallbladder.  It doesn't hurt at all, but sometimes I can feel an organ twitch or jump or feel additional energy in certain areas. The biggest payoff is at the end of that hour and a half to two hour session when I am balanced, focused, and feel a sense of well-being about myself. It is worth the 6-7 hours out of a day, even for someone like me who is unable to sit still very well for 5 minutes.

What I like best about this technology is it resets the mind - body - spirit connection. Have you ever felt like things were just off and that you were not firing on all of your cylinders? Can you suspend your skepticism and disbelief enough to understand that a lot of dis-ease is caused by emotional blocks? Earl Nightingale said it best: "you become what you think about." Do you feel better about yourself when you are sitting around complaining, or when you are thanking God for being able to hear the birds sing that day? By the same token, when you are feeling awful does it help when you sit around and miserate about it or get out and try to do something to help someone else? And that my friends is precisely why I am writing this blog.

Yes, Lyme's dis-ease and its subsequent symptoms were caused by a microscopic critter that invaded my system decades ago. Years of self-abuse by eating the wrong things, not getting enough sleep, allowing emotional blocks to cause me to physically stumble...not following my heart let alone the God I believed in yet turned my back on. All of these factors contributed to my body not being able to clear the minute stealth bomber wreaking havoc in my body. Those days are over, friends, thanks to a vast array of nutritional supplements, lifestyle changes, an assortment of treatment modalities...and LOTS of prayer.

Word for the day: Spirochetes

Borrelia burgdorferi. Up until 10 months ago I would have thought that was the name of a drink concoction at a pretentious hotel bar in some exotic location. Or perhaps Justin Bieber's new Swedish supermodel girlfriend. Today I know it intimately as it is the bane of my existence, my nemesis, yet not my downfall as I am going to win this battle. Borrelia burgdorferi is simply a big, fancy name for a microscopic critter commonly known as the Lyme's spirochete.

This nasty vermin is double-coated and corkscrew-shaped, the better to hide itself from that which would knock it on it's fancy-named booty. It has enjoyed perhaps 2 decades of destroying my central nervous system, joints, vital organs, and my very sanity at times. I thank the Good Lord for leading me to a Facebook page that contained a questionnaire I felt prompted to take. Unlike the Chemistry 101 final my Freshman year at college, this was unfortunately a test I passed with flying colors. Suddenly I had the answer as to why I couldn't get well no matter how many green smoothies I drank, supplements I took, or foods I removed from my diet. Sweet! Should be smooth sailing, right?

WRONG!

That little questionnaire sent me on a trip around my internal world that still has uncharted territory. It's like all this time I thought the earth was a sphere just to wake up one day and discover it is really round like a tabletop. It has taken my naturopathic doctor and me 10 months to kill off secondary infectons (like Epstein–Barr) and rebuild my immune system enough to be able to take the battle to the beast. I am armored up to the hilt now, though!

Enter in the nemesis of B. burgdorferi....teasel root. If you pay enough attention you quickly learn that God puts the remedy right alongside of the toxin. Teasel is a weed that grows where? You guessed it. In forests commonly known to have a very high population of deer and therefore deer ticks. This homeopathic remedy is very potent and powerful. It has taken me a month to move up to where I can tolerate 2 drops of it 3 times a day, and that still isn't the optimum dose. I am herxing bad right now (see previous post on here for description), I am about to jump out of my skin. And I will gladly continue to suffer through many healing crises as long as it takes to kill off these little vampires that have clung to me like so many leeches for entirely too long. I am becoming the windshield instead of the bug, braving the elements of my internal flora and fauna as I eradicate this infestation. I am making light of it to interject some humor, but have no doubt that my healing has been a long journey with many more Gilgameshian adventures around the bend. Healing from Lyme's ain't no joke. But I am healing! Every day I have a bit more energy, my tinnitus is improving, I feel less toxic. Still have a long way to go, I am very encouraged however.

So do yourself a favor the next time you go hiking. Or walking in a meadow. Or playing on the playground with your kids. Or even out showing property like me. Inspect yourself and each other for creepy-crawlies that can be as tiny as a period on this page. Ticks aren't just a nuisance from the arachnid family: they are little armored tanks with both immediate and time-released ammo.

Rhymes With "Jerks"

Before reading any further than the title, those of you also suffering from Lyme's know exactly where this post is heading...

I am again plagued with the Herx...herxes....the dreaded Herxheimer reaction. Funny that one delineation of the term rhymes with "jerks" as 1) my muscles are jerking and twitching randomly and 2) I am being a jerk because I feel quite dreadful. To borrow a phrase from my Granny, I am "ill as a dern hornet." In researching for this blog post I came across the below description which accurately describes what my body is enduring right now.

Along with the above list is the feeling of overwhelm, especially in a Type-A, dominate/driver personality such as yours truly. You want to get everything done on your list, and you try really hard, but mentally you just can't juggle all your tasks that day. The important things get done, other things fall by the proverbial wayside. Exhaustion sets in because of the previous night's insomnia, and a nap sounds like a fabulous idea...until you lay down and your central nervous system won't let you rest. Then the brain kicks in about the tasks you aren't doing. Then my favorite....just can't get comfortable. Phantom itching that isn't really there and tingling, over-sensitive skin that has caused me to rip or cut almost every tag out of every item of clothing I own. 

So, what caused it this time? We switched up my supplements again, changed my protocol to include colloidal silver as well as a yeast/fungal detox regimen. Silver is a very powerful anti-pathogen that kills virus, fungus, bacteria, you name it. It has been used for centuries to treat everything from eye infections to hepatitis to even treating drinking water. This is where the saying "born with a silver spoon" came from as it was discovered the aristocracy suffered much less and were apparently immune to many plagues and infections that wiped out entire populations. They ate with silver utensils and drank from silver cups. In my case, the same silver is wiping out entire populations of creepy crawly microscopic critters that have been plaguing me for years. 

Oddly enough, the Herxheimer reaction is also called a "healing crisis." Let that sink in. Healing is restoration, and a crisis is an intense, often dangerous situation. In essence, I am in an intensely dangerous state of restoration. Don't worry, it isn't physically dangerous as it isn't going to kill me...I just feel wretched. Believe it or not, the dreaded Herx is a sign of improving health.

I search for God's grace in every situation, and it is here with me during this one. I struggled harder yesterday that I am today, and on the way home from the office I remembered I would need to pull the recycyling bin back around the building. That was the LAST thing I wanted to do so I decided it would sit there until it either rusted to the ground or melted in the sun. I did the Scarlett O'hara thing, I would worry about it tomorrow. As I turned the corner I cut my eyes towards my driveway and the blue cart...and it wasn't there. Tears immediately streamed in relief and gratitude. A super sweet neighbor had taken it back for me, she made my day and I couldn't thank her enough. I have asked God for rapid healing, prayed for it mulitple times a day...perhaps He has His hands on me after all.

Gonna Make Ya Sweat!

Last night I found the Lyme's patient's equivalent to the Holy Grail: SLEEP. Sleep is very elusive for us. Between the central nervous system misfiring, muscle cramps/twitching, and waking to stumble to the bathroom every couple of hours after a day's worth of anti-inflammatories and detox herbs...we just don't sleep. I slept like a hibernating bear last night, and if it wasn't for 3 cats who are convinced they are starving I would probably still be asleep right now.

In the past, I have used an Infrared Sauna to detox; I either went to a spa or natural health clinic that offered the service. I gravitated back to this therapy a few months before I discovered the underlying cause for my failing health. I was spending a chunk of change to go to a day spa every week...then it dawned on me that I could just buy my own! I ordered an affordable infrared sauna tent off of Amazon. Lo and behold it appeared at my front door pretty much the same day I discovered the name of the beast within. I now enjoy this therapy weekly, right here in the comfort of my own home.

This little beauty is portable so it can be broken down and installed in less than 5 minutes. It has a stadium seat inside, which I line with a towel. There is a brace inside the front section so it doesn't fall inward when assembled. I dry brush my skin while I wait for it to heat up. Then I just sit in my tent, stick my head out the hole, zip it up from the inside, and chill for up to an hour. Actually, I don't chill....I SWEAT and I sweat a lot! It heats up to 150 degrees and forces the toxins right out of you. To prevent boredom (and my tinnitus driving me cray in the silence) I will use this time to catch up on that week's episode of Master Chef on Hulu. Or I will read. Or pray.

For those of you looking to add to your Lyme protocol, or anyone who wants a gentle yet powerful detox, I cannot recommend this therapy enough. If you have the room in your home and your budget for a stationery sauna, you can purchase a unit for around $1000 and upwards depending on the size. This is next on my list of things to invest in for my health. And it is an investment, a monetary as well as emotional one as this condition will literally bring you to your knees most days.

I got in my little personal oasis about an hour before going to bed last night. Rinsed the toxins off my skin in a lukewarm shower afterward, slathered a mix of frankincense and lavender on my skin when I got out. Took 2 of my natural muscle relaxers and crawled between my 1200 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. Yes, I slept and I slept hard! I needed the rest as I have had quite a challenging week.

As always, if I can be of any help or offer any advice please let me know! I am also open to learning about additional protocols from other Lyme's sufferers as let's face it...there is no one answer to this often perplexing condition. God bless you all!

Long time no twitch

I've not written a post in a while because quite honestly, I have felt pretty well! "Pretty well" is a relative term, as I feel some type of symptom pretty much all the time. It's just a matter of the severity and whether or not I am able to block out whatever it happens to be.

Two weeks ago, I was struck down with vertigo which was a new symptom. It. Was. AWFUL. To not be able to sit, lay down, or walk without getting dizzy and nauseous really put things into perspective. Alfred Hitchcock was a master of camera angles and videography. In the above Bell Tower scene he captures the dizziness and spinning perfectly. I accepted God's grace during those three days as I had to ask one of my friends to drive me to Wilmington for an unplanned treatment. It still amazes me to see how when we are at our lowest and don't want to bother anyone, that is when others really want to step up and help us the most. (Thanks again, Kate!)

This condition keeps you vulnerable and honest. Right about the time you think you are on the upslope of your healing, you wake up in the middle of the night with your hands and feet involuntarily twitching. In the morning, your shoulder joins in on the awkward dance. Hands and feet are chilly and numb, so naturally you misstep on the stairs and trip or drop multiple things just trying to prepare breakfast. There topples over the little medicine cup you've just filled with supplements. Eventually you get frustrated, which makes your ability to concentrate even more difficult. And that is precisely how I awoke today...frustrated, twitching, but oh so humbled. If so inclined, you may read more here.

Well, I have miserated enough for one morning. I am going to choose to focus on what I do have instead of what I don't today. I have the ability to write this post and put it out there to the public, hopefully it may encourage someone else who also suffers from this. I am able to work from home, which is a Godsend when I am having bad days neurologically. All of my basic needs are met for the day, my closing coordinator is working on my files at the office, I am safe and sound with a roof over my head. God has given me my Daily Bread, so I can quit worrying about today as I soak in a detox bath.

Free range eggs with a side of Lyme

When you lift the lid on a dozen farm fresh eggs, it is like opening God's jewelry box. Beautiful Blues, Greens, Tans, Browns, Creams...each hen unique in the color and size of egg that she lays. I love eggs, especially free-range that were gathered just that morning. That was my first job as a kid: running out to the coop at my grandparents' little farm house to collect what our hens spent the early morning hours contributing. I was taught to always leave one in the nest so she would come back.

As I went through my usual morning routine today, the dry cat food cup slipped out of my hand on the counter, scattering 30 or so pieces of kibble. I scooped them into the 3 bowls. Next I opened a can of wet food and dribbled some before it made it to the bowls as the spoon slipped in my hand. I spilled water trying to fill the coffee pot then dropped the dish towel I got out to clean up the whole mess. Naturally, I also knocked over the little medicine cup I'd just filled with my morning supplements. In other words, just another typical morning in the life of someone suffering with Lyme's symptoms.

Back to the eggs. I finally learned to carry the whole carton over to the stove instead of just taking one out of the refrigerator. There is no telling how many eggs I have busted on the floor during that 1-step shuffle over the last year or so. First hurdle over, I put some butter in my granny's cast iron skillet and waited for the perfect sizzle. I really enjoy them Over-Easy, but I have gotten to where I scramble them because it is quicker...and chances are I'll break the yolk anyway these days. I was determined this morning, though.

  

I chose a beautiful light blue egg, probably laid by an Ameraucana (I have intel that this particuar hen at the farm is named Cher). I lightly cracked it on the edge of the pan, my hands were twitching a bit, but again I was determined. It slid perfectly and gently into the butter...so far so good. As I timed it for The Flip, I appreciated the lovely, vivid tangerine-colored yolk that only happens with hens allowed to run free outdoors. I even thanked Cher for her effort. I took my time with the spatula, thought I had it! But no, it slipped in my numbed hand and the yolk broke. Sigh...there's always tomorrow. It doesn't have to be perfect to still taste yummy.

The whole thing got me to thinking about how those of us who suffer from this imbalance are a lot like eggs. Most of us acquired these symptoms by roaming freely outdoors. I probably picked up my infected parasite while hiking. And though we have developed a hard outer shell to protect ourselves from what is going on within our bodies and minds, we are indeed quite fragile. We crack easily if we try to juggle too many tasks at once, so please handle us gently. We feel Scrambled too often, Over-Medium frequently, and long for more Sunny-Side-Up days.  

In this present moment

Life is a series of individual moments that, when viewed collectively, comprise your existence or at least as you know it. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the bigger picture of our lives that we forget just "being" in each individual moment. I had the opportunity to just BE yesterday and it was profound.

I am a Broker with Keller Williams Realty. The second Thursday of every May is known as RED Day, and every Keller Williams office worldwide shuts their doors for that one day to give back to our respective communities. This year, my office chose to do our day of service at Hope Reins of Raleigh. This is a phenomenal organization dedicated to helping children who have been hurt by circumstances beyond their control. Horses are their counselors, particularly horses who have been rescued out of some of the same circumstances as the kids who attend sessions there.

I learned so much yesterday! I learned about how horses are much like humans yet also elevated over us. They are like us is that they live in communities where there are leaders, followers, and nurturers. They are far superior to us however in that they have mastered the art of just being in the moment. They don't have an agenda and if they are hanging out near you then you are accepted as part of their community. You don't have to touch them or them touch you in order to be validated.

We did an exercise where we slowly walked around and gradually integrated into where they were standing. They acknowledged our presence when we were six to eight feet away from them. We humans are so overly distracted that we do not see others or sense impending danger until things are right up on top of us in our personal space. Though horses are rather large in stature they are still considered prey animals. Because of this they are Super Hyper aware of their surroundings at all times yet they give no judgment to each singular event. They just exist for that moment at that time and it is a beautiful thing to be a part of.

That exercise took me back to a moment in 2008 when I was on an adventure tour in Costa Rica.  In order to reach the section of the river where we were going whitewater tubing, we had to ride up the mountain on horseback. I was given a very spirited gelding who had a mind of his own. He kept deviating off course and just would not follow the rest of the pack. We had to cross over a stretch of rapids that I could see was about chest-high on some of the smaller horses. I almost drowned as a kid so I have a great respect for and sometimes fear of water. I was a bit scared so I had a very tight grip with my knees and on the reins of my equine guide. As we approached the rapids he kept trying to go his own way. The more I tugged on the reins the more cantankerous he became. Finally he just stopped, swung his head around and made eye contact with me. I felt the majesty of the animal and the peace of God in that moment. I lightened my grip on the reins as well as with my knees and allowed him to do his thing. He bypassed the group in the deepest part of the river, trotted on up in front, and finished leading the pack up to where we were going. Talk about just letting go and living in the moment...

Lyme's is as much a mental dis-ease as it is a physical one. It can be exhausting. When we first started looking at venues this year, I had not yet started my treatment. I had multiple symptoms of Lyme's but I had yet to really dive in and figure out what was going on. As the planning and my treatments both progressed, I often agonized over whether or not I would be able to even participate when RED Day finally rolled around. It is my absolute favorite work day of each year, so thoughts of not being able to attend an event I put so much into planning were wearing me down deeper. I finally decided to just have faith that I would be healed enough to contribute. I'm happy to say that though I didn't get to dig in the dirt or do anything physically labor-intensive yesterday, I was able to help paint the fencing for the community garden and pull some weeds in a flower bed. That singular moment of making a positive choice changed an entire day for me and will bless many kids in the future. Each moment matters, don't let them pass you by while worrying about the next one!

Clean water, clean system

I had clients in from Michigan today. As we were building rapport, they noticed that the water in my bottle was blue green in color. They said something along the lines of that is some interesting-looking water considering they have relatives not too terribly far from Flint!

I told them that I thought that water was God's greatest resource for us here on Earth. They agreed and said that it was very sad that unfortunately not everyone sees it that way. Then they went on to tell me how for years the tap water up in Flint has been brown, murky, stinky out of the tap and just not drinkable or usable for bathing. Deplorable really considering the wealth and resources our country has at its disposal.

I told them that I am battling multiple symptoms from Lyme's disease so I am drinking the purest and cleanest water I can possibly ingest to detox my system. My water is blue green in color because I am using Liquid Chlorophyll  to alkalize my system and purify my blood. My trace minerals are off because my system has just become so depleted over the last several years. In order to remineralize, I also drink a sole solution of Himalayan salt and filtered water. I added a good splash to my chlorophyll water today.

Most importantly is the purity and quality of the water itself. About a month ago I invested in a Berkey gravity water filter. I honestly cannot say enough good things about this system! Since it is not mechanical in nature, it will provide pure, clean water no matter what. If for any reason the municipal water supply is cut off, it will even filter pond or river water to 99.99% purity. I added flouride filters to mine as I think flouride is poison...shhh, don't tell the FDA....

This is Big Berkey!

Since I like to hike, I also have bought a really good portable filter to carry with me in the event I run out of the water I bring with me. Dehydration is deadly and often not discovered until you are in danger. You can live up to 3 weeks without food... but only three days without water. Not that I plan or intend to be so far away from civilization or get so lost I cannot find clean water for 3 days... however this Sawyer mini filter is very compact and filters up to 10,000 gallons of water! ( naturally I bought one in pink) They have even been used in Third World Countries. Not sure if either of these have been tried in Flint, and I am making no claim either way. I am just a consumer trying to help others.

Whether you are healing from a dis-ease or healthy as a proverbial horse, the more pure your water the easier your system (body) can operate. Without having to filter out the flouride in municipal water, heavy metals or bacteria present in well water, or the man-made chemicals seeping into both from our ground water your body is more readily able to absorb the water you take in as well as detox naturally.

If you have any questions about my healing regimen or would like to order any of the Liquid Chlorophyll I mentioned above let me know! If you are also battling Lyme's symptoms I would love to hear from you.

I'm a human cat

Lyme's symptoms make you feel like you are crawling out of your skin. Or at least want to. You just can't escape the involuntary twitches, the incessant tinnitus, the anxiety that creeps in when you know you should physically be able to accomplish more than your body is allowing you that day.

I feel like I am a cat at times. I vascilate between wanting to be outside around the General Public when I am at home. Likewise, when I am out and about I pretty much want to be back home miserating in bed. I walk outside to get a few minutes of sunshine and fresh air just to remember an email I need to send.  I'll run back inside and sit back down at my computer and forget what I was getting ready to do. Then I look back out the window and see how pretty it is and think wow, it sure would be nice to get some fresh air and sunshine. So I will mosey back outside and the forgotten email will make a reappearance.

I am grateful that I don't have it worse as I am able to live a mostly normal life. I am not bound to a wheelchair or walker like some sufferers. I am still able to reasonably do my job as well as drive to and from Wilmington for my treatments. I go to church every week no matter how I am feeling, and I manage to tuck in one social activity each week if I am able. The grace of God and a lot of determination still afford me a life worth living.

I started this blog as a way to get out of my own head. To try to bridge the gap between those of us that have and those of you who do not have these symptoms. I daily look for the bright side of things; it is just my nature to do so. Those of you who are non-believers may not get this, but I actually thank God for blessing me with this. It is allowing me time to emotionally heal from past wounds and transgressions. Since I am a bit more vocal than most, it also lets me put a face and description to this set of dastardly symptoms.  Most importantly, it allows me more time to draw closer to Him. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of Jeremiah 29:11, so much so that I really have not asked Him why I have been given this load to carry.

Today has been one of those days where I've dropped and broken things, my hands aching so badly I'm composing a good portion of this via talk-to-text. But the sun is shining, there's a light breeze blowing, and I'm able to walk. I'm going to get out and enjoy it for at least a few minutes! As always, I welcome your comments, questions and advise if you or a loved one are also a human cat...

There are no coincidences....

I put this little blog together last night while I had my feet in the detox bath. Yesterday was a bad symptom day and I felt miserable so I figured why not do something that may be of benefit to someone else? The combination did the trick as I am feeling a bit better today.

We take our physical health for granted and emotionally still feel like we ought to be able to do the things we were capable of when we were 18. I'm not going to lie, this has knocked me on my booty. There have been days this past winter when I was showing property that my hands ached so badly I could barely turn the dial on the lock box. But I did it anyway, because that's what you do when you are a professional and your clients are counting on you. In many ways, my physical discomfort has made me much tougher emotionally and spiritually. And that is what gets me through the times of physical distress.

I don't believe in coincidences. I remember a couple of years ago I ran into a seller on the way out of her home when I was on the way in to show it. She was using a walker, she was about my age, and she looked at me and said that she had Lyme's disease. Looking back, I have said many prayers for that lady, prayers for her healing and for the emotional battle the physical ailments are causing her.

I don't know where this blog is going or where my Lyme's journey will take me, but I have faith and believe in my heart that somehow God will bring this around for good...if it's not but just to show a different approach to healing. Or maybe inspire someone else to get out of bed that day and go to work even when they're aching all over. Perhaps it will be to bring awareness to this condition as there are people who suffer with this silently without even knowing they have it. Then there are those who have been told that this is all in their head or they have been misdiagnosed and given medications that they don't need.

Regardless, thank you for taking the time to read this. If you or one of your loved ones also suffers from this condition, I would love to hear from you!

Holistic approach to life...and Lyme

I have a confession to make: I've been holding out on you. In this age of social media where everyone knows you had a green smoothie for breakfast, are planning a week in Maui for vacation, attend church regularly, and purple is your favorite color...I've not publicly discussed something major going on in my life. Part of the reason is I'm still wrapping my mind around it and dealing with the long term implications.

I am being treated for Lyme's Disease. Notice I didn't say "I have Lyme's Disease." When you claim a dis-ease it then owns you and you become grouped in a category. Instead, my Naturopathic Doctor and I are calling it what it is: I am being treated for a systemic imbalance that causes symptoms of Lyme's Disease. 

Of all places, I was led to a Lyme's Disease test on Facebook. I truly believe God led me there as I was searching for answers for my declining health and prayed for guidance and discernment. So I took a test and was astounded by the results. Here is the Cliff's Notes list of symptoms, each of which sneaked up on me over time and overlapped each other, or disguised themselves as something else.

Migraines. Joint pain. Stiff neck. TMJ. Tinnitus. Short term memory lapses. Light sensitivity. Muscle spasms. Muscle pain. Anxiety/panic attacks. Gluten intolerance. Teeth pain. Heart palpitations. Extreme fatigue. Insomnia. Hair loss. Hearing loss. Dropping things. Tingling/numbness in hands and feet. Brain fog. Forgetfulness. Disorientation. 

That is only 1/4 of the list, by the way, and the worst of my biggest offenders. Some symptoms are moderate to severe, some only occasional. All of them add up to a big ol' hot mess of a miserable human being. I finally realized those are NOT part of the normal aging process, not by a long shot. That's what sent me searching for answers in the first place.

When I first started researching, I knew that I was going to take a holistic, whole-body approach. It's what makes sense to me. I've never been a big fan of pumping your body full of chemicals to mask a symptom instead of uncovering and treating the underlying root cause. I prayed for guidance in this area as well, this is the route I'm taking.

I have been going to Wilmington once a week for the last 2 months to receive Quantum Biofeedback. I am taking a double-handful of herbal supplements, probiotics, homeopathics, anti-viral amino acids, minerals, vitamins, and overall cellular detox herbs 3 times a day. I have purchased a Far Infrared Sauna tent that I sit in 1-3 times a week. I use an ionic detox foot bath 2-3 times a week. I do a detox soak in the bath tub 2-3 times a week. This is in addition to my weekly chiropractic adjustment and monthly massage with Craniosacral Therapy. 

What I'm saying is it is taking a lot of willpower, time, focus...and prayer...as I detox from the critters that have invaded my central nervous system and vital organs. It ain't fun, y'all, not by a long shot. But I knew I couldn't keep watching my health decline. I have had a few of these symptoms for a decade, they're not going to just disappear overnight absent a miracle. So, I am committed to doing whatever it takes for the next 6 months to 2 years or however long it takes. 

I will post updates regularly, take pics of my little sauna tent, show you the NASTY detox water from the foot bath (it's disgusting), and answer any questions you may have. If anyone else is also on the road to healing, I would welcome any comments or suggestions from you!